My heart is ready to burst, my Father is proud of me.

I can’t say much because I’m not sure who all reads my blogs. However, I just need an outlet to share some exciting news. About a year ago is when things began to really change in my life. When I began to become excited and passionate about my Savior, and began having a constant, intimate relationship with him. 

I’ve always been passionate about people, but lately He has made this passion even more powerful. A few months ago I was begging Him to tell me what I was supposed to do next, as I was really struggling and feeling empty. And I heard Him whisper to my soul: “You are already doing it. I want you to love people like I have loved you, so that you can learn to love yourself.” Holy cow. It was beautiful in so many ways. He knows how much I have been struggling off and on with loving myself, and He has done everything in His power to make me realize how much I am loved, regardless of the circumstances. As I had been transforming this past year, I had been becoming more passionate about loving those around me as selflessly as I could. I know a lot of people who do not have a good friend who is willing to listen when they need to cry out, who is there when they are struggling, and I wanted to be that friend to as many people as I could afford, I could manage. 

A few weeks ago when I was getting out of the shower, I heard him tell my heart the names of some people I was supposed to be friends with. I already loved these people, but had not really been a major part of their lives yet. This week, some of the things I have been praying for are happening. I see a future with an even more beautiful restoration occurring in their lives. My heart is overwhelmed with the beauty that is happening right before my very eyes. And I am totally and completely faithful, that even if I do not reap or see the rewards of my hard work in these people’s lives, that God will find a way to make it happen. They are being chased, and I know they want it eventually, but fear is a powerful tool the enemy knows how to use well. 

Their stories are not mine to tell. There are other people that I am friends with that God is working in mysterious ways to bring them to a turning point in their lives. I see the want in their eyes, and I remember that feeling well. I don’t want to give too many details, but I just got a text message from someone whom I have been there through the suicide calls, and now they want to become a part of our life group. My heart is broken. My Father trusts me with the lives of His children because I am striving so hard to be faithful. I may not see the road ahead, but I can look up and know who He is, every day. 


The Importance of faith in a “me-oriented” world.

I just want to take a moment to talk about the rewards of continuing to grow a strong faith in your relationship with your maker. I feel that so many times we are focused on our needs, that we become unaware that our faith desperately needs to be revamped. Our faith has the constant potential to become a powerful tool to move us in ways we would otherwise be unable to accomplish on our own. And while it is not wrong to ask God to help us out when we are struggling and just need some money to make it through the next set of bills, or to pray that will we be blessed with a new car that doesn’t stall every time an important day comes up, our faith should be exercised in a wider range of ways than our own selfish needs. Sometimes, we ask for things because we want them, not because they are a need, and that’s not always wrong, but maybe if this is how we think it is time for a perspective change of sorts.

I have been listening to a group of messages about this topic the last few weeks and putting into practice some life-changing beliefs about faith. First of all, I think that people sometimes fall under the confusion that says, we should do everything in our power to make our lives work out, and then when we cannot do something we should ask God for that item. More like “God helps those who help themselves.” The problem with this mentality is that there are a lot of flaws that come with that plan. For starters, we each are like horses with a pair of blinders on. We can see the path ahead, and the plans that we have made for our five year hopes and so on. We have the ability to know some things, to see some destinations ahead and to walk towards them. However, we cannot see to the left or to the right unless we turn that way, and in this we are prevented from seeing in all directions at once. God can see all things, forwards backwards and sideways. He  is able to know when a car is whizzing ever quickly towards us.

If we allow ourselves to only be tuned into our plans, dreams, and desires, and then focus on Him when we feel we are struggling, we will not get very far. He wants the only best for us, and I have a small feeling that when we do not listen to Him, all the time, He will do everything in His power to draw us to Him even if that means we have to go through some circumstances that derail us from our originally intended path. Do not be upset, because this is His way of ensuring we are not run over by the car coming towards.

On the other hand, if we step out into faith every single day, we allow ourselves to be opened up to His plan and only His plan every day. It does not mean that our path will be easy, it does not mean that we will flawlessly do everything He requests of us each time either. What it does mean is that instead of wandering around, hoping that our five year plan for our career or our family will work out, it means that we have now been given the opportunity to tune into the daily plan He has for us. Maybe that does not mean having children in the next ten years, but imagine how much different our lives would be if we had not tuned into that blessing? We might not be able to have everything we want, but there is an entire new level of blessing we are given if we our faithful, I promise each one of you.

Secondly, if we are consumed with helping ourselves, we might miss the chance to see the others in need all around us. I am not perfect, I often have selfish moments and I am trying to work on that. But tuning into the Holy Sprit has given me so many opportunities on a daily basis to connect with those around me and bring restoration to their lives as well. If we want to leave a legacy for others to admire and respect after we are gone, just think about it. Some of the most remembered characters in the Bible were faithful in every circumstance to their Lord. For Noah, there had never been rain before, and here God had instructed him to gather supplies and build an ark because the world would be covered in a flood–one hundred years later. Can you imagine the torture of being made fun of every single day for following the ultimate plan of the Father? Like I said, definitely not easy, but here thousands of years later we teach about his faithfulness. If he had been unwilling to listen, we would not be here today. Just let that sink in a moment.

Living a life that is faithful, every day, to a higher power can be terrifying. I was told a while back that after school was over, we would figure out what to do next. My husband and I had been looking at going away to school, but then some things happened that made us reconsider that plan after all. God instructed us that we would have something big happen after that, but we weren’t sure what that looked like. After a few weeks, I became distraught, not understanding why the answers weren’t clear to me right away. But after listening to these messages I felt His hand on my soul telling me that it doesn’t matter what I’m supposed to do, it matters that I am, right now, in His presence. The more time that I spend daily removing my focus on me, and how I feel, and place it on Him, begging Him to fill me with more of Him and less of me, the more that I am rewarded with the blessings of overwhelming peace. I was so stressed out, and now, while stress does still creep up a lot, I feel rewarded with a much larger sense of peace in all things. Because I know I am ultimately listening to the one who not only knows me best but knows just what should happen ahead at all times. There is positively no feeling like this one. And if you are longing for peace, struggling to find it, please understand it is attainable.

I will write more on this later, but I hope right now this gave some perspective to chew on. I know this topic is not easy, but it is so very worth it in every way to delve into the promises that we have been given if we are faithful in everything. Even if we do not receive the fruit of these blessings in our lifetime, they might be passed down. But the truth of the matter is it should not be about the blessing, but the heart process it takes to get to the destination. Our lives will be able to impact the world if we allow the whisperings of our maker into our every day existence.