I can’t say much because I’m not sure who all reads my blogs. However, I just need an outlet to share some exciting news. About a year ago is when things began to really change in my life. When I began to become excited and passionate about my Savior, and began having a constant, intimate relationship with him.
I’ve always been passionate about people, but lately He has made this passion even more powerful. A few months ago I was begging Him to tell me what I was supposed to do next, as I was really struggling and feeling empty. And I heard Him whisper to my soul: “You are already doing it. I want you to love people like I have loved you, so that you can learn to love yourself.” Holy cow. It was beautiful in so many ways. He knows how much I have been struggling off and on with loving myself, and He has done everything in His power to make me realize how much I am loved, regardless of the circumstances. As I had been transforming this past year, I had been becoming more passionate about loving those around me as selflessly as I could. I know a lot of people who do not have a good friend who is willing to listen when they need to cry out, who is there when they are struggling, and I wanted to be that friend to as many people as I could afford, I could manage.
A few weeks ago when I was getting out of the shower, I heard him tell my heart the names of some people I was supposed to be friends with. I already loved these people, but had not really been a major part of their lives yet. This week, some of the things I have been praying for are happening. I see a future with an even more beautiful restoration occurring in their lives. My heart is overwhelmed with the beauty that is happening right before my very eyes. And I am totally and completely faithful, that even if I do not reap or see the rewards of my hard work in these people’s lives, that God will find a way to make it happen. They are being chased, and I know they want it eventually, but fear is a powerful tool the enemy knows how to use well.
Their stories are not mine to tell. There are other people that I am friends with that God is working in mysterious ways to bring them to a turning point in their lives. I see the want in their eyes, and I remember that feeling well. I don’t want to give too many details, but I just got a text message from someone whom I have been there through the suicide calls, and now they want to become a part of our life group. My heart is broken. My Father trusts me with the lives of His children because I am striving so hard to be faithful. I may not see the road ahead, but I can look up and know who He is, every day.